Monday, December 17, 2012

a new life to live

When I'm with you
The rest disappear
They slip far away
With the stroke of my ear
And your hand on my cheek
You're cupping my face
And holding me close
Anchored into this place
And it's not about land
Or constellations in the sky
It's having you near
And being there by your side
And without the words
I know what you feel
Your lips they are mine
And your kisses I steal
And the more that I take
The more that you give
There were lives once before
And a new life to live.

what it is

We know what we want
We know we want this
And now we can grieve
For days that we missed
Spent wandering around
And trying new things
And making mistakes
And making new dreams
And going in circles
And finding the line
And finding our truth
And finding the time
To only discover
It always was this
And we know now for sure
What it is we would miss... x

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I'm coming back for you now

Beautiful insomnia
When real life it seems
Like it couldn't get better
Like you're living your dreams
I look at your face
And I feel I am home
I know you're my one
I know you won't go
That you'll stand by my side
And you'll be my best friend
You won't let me cry
And your love will not end
You've waited for me
And you've seen me be strong
Que sera, what will be
But now it feels like too long
Since you held my right hand
And you stroked my smooth face
Since we breathed the same air
Lay in the same place
Our secret love
That only we knew
You have been there for me
And I've been there for you
The world has gone round
And the tides have gone out
And no one else knew
What our lives were about
But the stars lit the sky
And the sun rose again
The tides lap the bay
J'adore et je t'aime
Yes we met once before
But it wasn't our time
There were gullys to cross
There were mountains to climb
And you wondered through years
What had happened to me
Did I think then of you
Was it you I could see
Well yes it was you
It always has been
But you weren't in my life
And you weren't in my dreams
You were there in my heart
You were with me each day
As I was finding myself
You were finding your way
And I could not believe
When you found me again
But you said you won't leave
You said you're my friend
And you were true to your word
And you've been all the things
That you promised to me
That I wished in my dreams
Our lives have aligned
From two sides of the world
You're my beautiful man
I'm your beautiful girl
You're awake when I sleep
And I dream while you wake
But we've found our true love
And we've lived for love's sake
Now we'll never let go
And we'll never know how
But our paths crossed again
I'm coming back for you now.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

nothing but you

You ask me what I want
I'll say I dont want much
I want to be wanted
I want your touch

I want your hands on my face when you kiss me
I want the taste of your lips
I want to sleep there beside you
Brushing our fingertips

I want my face in your neck
Hearing the sound of my name
Feeling the beat of your heart
Knowing you feel the same

I want the smell of you
Clinging onto my clothes
I want a secret love
That no one else knows

I want to throw caution to the wind
And plunge into the deep
I want to live out our dreams
Make love while we sleep

I want to stand side by side
With your hand on my back
I want to stare at the world
Knowing Im on the right track

I want love and respect
And to share the same truth
I'll count the stars in the skies
I want nothing but you.

Friday, October 19, 2012

you're not looking back


The sun shines through the window
it's a beautiful morning
there are buds of new things
for new times, and new dawnings
Your head aches from sleep
But your done with the yawning
And you reach for the sky
New energy forming
The trees brush the rooftops
And the flowers hug the paths
You're looking past clouds
And you're not looking back.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I'm by your side...

Sometimes when the world is blue
And no one seems to look at you
The days you live just to get through
And everyone belongs but you

Then think of me in that far off place
I call your name, I see your face
Our lives are but a memory trace
But hold on still with love and grace

And know that there is something deep
Surpassing time, this town, this street
And every time you cannot sleep
Or when the climb it feels too steep

Know that on the other side
I wait for you
And cry inside
For love and peace and better times

I am not far
I'm by your side.

Friday, July 13, 2012

hurt

hurt is when your tummy aches
your shoulders hunch
your hands they shake
your mind is in a hazy blur
she thinks of him
he thinks of her
you stand alone
you don't go far
you can't go on
you know you are
penetrable from every side
but you can't run
and you can't hide
the wind alone is your embrace
the sun shines on
and sees your face
the tears they fall
just like the rain
a distant call
the deepest pain
and then you find a strength inside
won't let you freeze
won't let you hide
but makes you move
and carry on
your head held high
the pain has gone
it's buried deep
and wrapped around
a tender soul
you're on the ground
the birds they sing
their evening song
and tell you now
it won't be long
the buds will open
the garden bloom
this is your time
give love, make room.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I don't say it enough


She was wrinkled and pink
When you first saw her face
You didn't know what to think
When you stood in that place

Abated, elated
You lived life for this day
And will live now for her
You were scared and afraid

Your world it had changed
And your outlook was new
No longer the same
Once she came into view

And you looked at them both
Your two little girls
In your throat, the words choked
For all you need in this world

Is their love and their faith
You'd do anything for them
And your word is your bond
Again and again

You will give all you have
And you'll do what is right
That to love them is all
And for them you will fight

Even if they are wrong
And even if you can't see
Why they do all those things
So differently

Everything you have done
And everything that you do
Is always for them
And is never for you

And then they grow up
All at once, overnight
And you worried they'd leave
And be out of your sight

Your own little girl
With the stars in her eyes
She'll go travel the world
She will soar through the skies

And she'll fight for what's right
She'll remember your words
As she carves out her path
And she lives for what's hers

And you cannot do more
But sit back now and trust
She'll take care of herself
And she'll do what she must

Doing only the things
That let her fly free
And leave her fulfilled
And make her happy

And she can do anything
That her heart tells her to
She believes in herself
Because she knows you do too

For you are her rock
And for that she is glad
I don't say it enough,
That
I love you
Dad.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

coming in from the storm

It's one of those nights
where the air rushes round
and rattles the windows
an ominous sound

And the leaves they look ghostly
As they tap on the glass
And cling to the branches
Til the storm comes to pass

The clouds they are dark
And they hang in the air
Churning and stiring
Whiping your hair

I see you rush to me
Dashing on down the path
Hugging yourself
And not looking back

Your fingers are pink
They reach for the bell
You lick salt from your lips
And you bite them as well

I rush down all the stairs
And I open the door
You stand there and look
Dripping rain on the porch

And I gather you in
You are wet in my hands
But I'm pulling you in
And unzipping your pants

And you pull off your shirt
And your arms come around
You're lifting me up
Sweep my feet off the ground

I'm held in your arms
And I kick at the door
Wondering how it will be
But I know I am sure

Your skin it is warm
And I feel through my dress
The beat of your heart
The thump in your chest

You carry me up
I feel lighter than air
Your hand's on my waist
You're smelling my hair

You carry me in
Lay me down on the bed
You're my shield from the dark
You are holding my head

And you say, "hello you"
And you're glad you came back
The storm's getting louder
There's a thunderous clap

Your eyes they look at me
And your kissing it fits
You stop and you smile
And we know this is it

"You're so beautiful, baby"
And you pull up the sheets
And I'm lay in your arms
I feel humble and weak

I'm cupped in your hands
And we don't want to move
Feeling our skin
Feeling our groove

You're tracing my shape
And you won't let me go
There are words in my ear
But I don't want to know

And at some point we wake
We had drifted asleep
There are hands in my hair
And a kiss on my cheek

And I'm wrapped all around you
Thinking this is a dream
But your breath it is real
So I pull at the seam

And I'm bursting into
This small bubble of time
The whole world is outside
And right now you are mine

The lighting is pink
On the cusp of the dawn
As we lay side by side
Coming in from the storm.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

without you...

I remember the day
That we got the sad news
The day we were told
That we had lost you,

I'd been out for the day
And when I came home
The air was too still
For everyone home

I knocked on the door
And I saw in her face
That something was up
Things felt out of place

So I asked what it was
And she told me at once
That we'd lost you today
She put up no fronts

I walked through the room
He was sat on the floor
I could see in his eyes
As I stood in the door

That his world now had changed
And that made him seem small
It won't be the same
Without you to call

No more words of advise
No more stories to tell
Of your time before ours
Of you wishing us well

He was sat on the ground
With the phone in his hands
His loved ones around
In a foreign, strange land

His face it was empty
His colour was drained
Knowing you as you were
We'd never see you again

And I turned in the door
And I walked far away 
Going down past our path
Walking out through the gate

The moon it was high
And the air it was still
I felt the cool breeze
I felt a deep chill

That crept up through my bones
And rippled my skin
Knowing all that was left
Was your memory within

And I walked down the road
Kicking gravel and stones
Not wanting to stop
Or to be in our home

I needed some time
To process this news
And think of our lives
Going on without you

The tears as they fell
I thought they weren't mine
There was too much to feel
In this moment in time

So I stopped moving forward
I stopped in my tracks
I turned on my heels
I turned to head back

And I got to the house
They all were still there
She reached for my hands
She stroked down my hair

And he sat at the table
And he looked in my eyes
The pain that we felt
Would never subside

There was nothing to say
And nothing to do
But accept the sad news
And go on without you.

xx


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

not good enough for me

I spent ages deciding
What clothes I should wear
I used the last of my perfume
And I played with my hair
Straightening the curls
And smoothing it down
Catching myself in the mirror
Twirling around
Holding myself
In a flattering pose
Painting my lips  

Dusting my nose
Taking one last look
At my face in the glass
Wondering what you might think
Will you approve, will I pass?
And I smiled as I walked
To the station for you
Wondering what we might say
Wondering what we might do
It took over an hour
And my tummy wouldn't rest
Sending flutters of feeling
Up into my chest
Catching glances of me
In the reflection on windows
A stranger who saw me
He gets it, oh he knows
It was all over my face
And in every step
A second chance came today
You're still there, you've not left
And I waited for you
And I straighten my dress
Running hands through my hair
Felt the breath in my chest
And I'm biting my lip
And I'm tugging my ear
My breathing it quickens
Because soon you'll be here
I'm waiting for you
I know you are near
The moment is close
More hope than there's fear
But soon I will realise
As the leaves start to stir
It's been over an hour
And still your not here
People they pass me
As they walk down the street
Off to see friends
Or to pubs where they'll meet
Someone like you
With a confident smile
And a freshness
An energy
And they'll stay for a while
And when they look at me
I feel sudden shame
That I realised too late
You're not coming today

I get back on the train
And I'm sitting alone
I'm staring, unblinking
I switch off my phone
I was excited to see you
We'd made special plans
Now I'm hiding my tears
And I'm ringing my hands
I stare in the distance
An indefinable dot
Holding me captive
Making me rot
But then a stranger looks at me

He smiles, and I see
There are other people out there
And you're not good enough for me.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

someone near

I smile at the stranger
As we're riding the tube
And I'm wanting to say
"Why, hello," / "how are you?"

And I'll mean it, if I say it
It's not just a line
I care how you are
In this moment in time

I feel love in an instant
With my heart on my sleeve
The old man on the bench
That I passed on the street

With no one beside him
And no one around
He shuffles his feet
He stares at the ground

And the dirty old worker
With dust on his hands
And eyes that are heavy
Lives not gone to plan

And the mother and baby
With crumbled up clothes
And fistfuls of toast
And snot on their nose

And the bloke in the suit
With the confident grin
And the bulge of his case
What a burden to win

And the girl in reflection
Who's eyes are so bright
But no one looks at her
She's not in their sight

And these people they see me
And me, I see them
They're there at the start
And they're there at the end

But we walk like we're dead
And we utter no sound
Our senses are numb
We float on the ground

With feet disconnected
We're sweeping on through
All the days and the nights
Something borrowed, something blue

With the anguish for families
Who live far away
And pain over people
Who aren't in our day

There are too many people
Who all clutch at my heart
But you can't be here with me
And it tears me apart

So I sit in the the middle
Of some 9 million peeps
We ride the same trains
We walk the same streets

But not a single one
For miles around
Can give back this feeling
And I think I am bound

To be solo in life
And that racks me with fear
Because I hate being solo
And I want someone near.

we can't give it back

it doesn't get easier
it just stops being new
my days carry on
I think less now of you

but the importance I place
on different things
doesn't take it away
what the thought of you brings

you're still the same you
and I'm still the same me
we've just gone separate ways
we've moved on, we are free

but all that we shared
it is frozen in time
and we can't give it back
for it's auld lang syne.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

hanging on...

hanging on to the last
like a child with a balloon
that wants to float away

over rooftops and treetops
over the hills
and the bay

getting smaller and smaller
until the colour has faded
and what's left
is a dot on the horizon
flickering
and then gone.

what they were

does she look at me and think the same
not knowing me except my name
and thinks I play a better game
I hold his heart, I stake my claim

or is it me that looks at her
her flawless skin, her silky hair
an easy smile, no fears, no care
for her he'll be forever there

I caught his eye, he watched me walk
we laughed and cried, and talked and talked
I held his hand and shared his bed
and made him smile with things I said

he kissed me once, he kissed me twice
he stroked my hair, it felt so nice
I fed his eager appetite
we played the day, and dreamt the night

I cursed that she had met him first
his broken heart from her, I nursed
but here it is, true love reversed
a second chance, a void traversed

or will i be compared to her
and will i be abhored by her
be not distinct, but just a blur
a bitter taste, of what they were.

you're in my sleep

You turned your back
And faced the door
When you said goodbye
You must have thought
When I didn't answer
I'd lost the will
But my words choked up
They're stuck there still
I looked at you
I felt the same
As much as when
We met that day
The way you speak
The way you sound
My breath falls short
When you're around
I want to put
my hand in yours
It's not allowed
It feels too forced
I dip my head
And drop my gaze
Won't let you see
These painful days
I want your arms
Around me now
I want your touch
I'm not sure how
Things came undone
And all seems lost
I won't move on
I've fingers crossed
I'm wanting you
Do you want me
You think I've gone
I've not, you see
I think of you
It's constantly
I dream of you
You're in my sleep.

a lump in my throat

There is a lump in my throat
And a thread of tension
That runs from my ears
Down the sides of my neck
Dragging down my ribcage
Into the pitt of my stomach
Where it swirls in a vortex
And leaves my legs heavy
And my toes to curl
And I ache for a blanket
And to hide from this world.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

for anyone

for anyone who dared to dream
not dreams of fame or wealth
but the kind of dreams that seek the truth
of love and peace and health

for anyone who took the path
that sought the greatest view
and not the path that looked the least
as though it asked a lot of you

for anyone who left behind
the things they loved and knew
and walked alone into the dark
with nothing in their view

for anyone who's had a faith
and trusted with conviction
that despite the doubt and fear and hate
they'll reach their goal with a distinction

for anyone who's been unsure
unfulfilled and unrequited
but trusted there was something more
and trundled on when uninvited

this world will be a wondrous place
no matter what the weather
and every creature, creed and race
will stand by you and come together

the rain will fall refreshing
the wind will blow you free
the sun will warm your cockles
the land will hold the sea

and you will feel the colours
and see the sounds and smells
and hear the sights of freedom
when we're all one and we are well.

for us to fly

Letting go is hard to do
I think of then
I think of you
The times we shared
The places been
We loved, we cared
We'd not foreseen
That everything we said and did
Would reach it's end
Would find it's lid
Such feelings deep
We couldn't hide
We let them out
We laughed and cried
An urgency to get to know
Another's heart
Another's soul
Connecting to a place
In time
And know a face
And see inside
The eyes of blue
And silent dreams
Of hopes and fears
And futile screams
We tried to make this
Work, we did
It's not our fault
That it ended
We rode the wave
We braved the storm
And lived unto
Another dawn
More tales to tell
More love to feel
A time complete
A time so real
The caterpillar never asks
Why his short life
It did not last
It came and went
And left behind
Colourful wings
For us to fly.

Monday, March 26, 2012

he'll still come around

you have this bleak feeling
like you can never imagine
getting over this person
and carrying on

and your head knows you will
but your heart won't believe it
you're not willing to accept
that it's over, it's gone

you can't ever remember
a time gone before them
or anyone else
with such an impression

but you know that's not true
and that only before
you had all the same thoughts
of despondence, depression

and that this too shall pass
and there'll be better things
where there are no more doubts
or confusion

but you cannot believe
that this didn't work out
you want to turn back
and re-do them

but you know there will be
another one after this
more suited for you
and as hard as it is

you know to accept
greater things are to follow
one more step, getting closer
holding out for tomorrow

but even as I say this
i'm feeling deep down
that he made a mistake
and he'll still come around.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

behind this bright face

a wonderful world
puts the stars in my eyes
and people to love
are what makes me smile

yet behind the broad smile
a little girl hides
who struggles to trust
after you cast her aside

there are things that affect her
you know it, it's true
but she seems so together
when talking to you

then when you hang up
or when you press send
and go on your way
and call that the end

she sits there re-reading
and retracing the lines
of another heart broken
another one, for old times'

she eats lies for her breakfast
and pukes them at lunch
regurgitating sorrow
and meeting your punch

you're ripping her hair
and breaking her nails
and shoving her down
with your foot on her tail

when you spat in her face
and you turned the round table
she was trapped in that place
and for a while was unable

to see any light
except the glint in your eye
there was nothing to fight
say hello, wave goodbye

she gave up far too much
but it was not your mistake
it was her bad decision
and now it's too late

but hard times endured
no matter how bad
have taught me life lessons
and for that I am glad

yes I know what it is
to eat blatant cruel lies
and I know what it is
to burn deep inside

over someone I love
who's forgotten my name
who leaves me at home
goes out, plays the game

and I know what it is
to be true to myself
to pick myself up
and get down from that shelf

so I'll smile and I'll laugh
whilst I'm finding my place
but there's a girl that wears black
behind this bright face.

it's lonely in this city

It's lonely in this city
of 9 million people
from the depths of the gutter
to st pauls' and her steeple
the crowds around the edges
they shuffle in on you
and suffocate your senses
taking sunlight from your view
there are queues for the carriages
that takes you to the places
where you wander to find something
amongst streets of nameless faces
you're fighting for your place here
and fighting for your time
to be seen and held with meaning
instead of lost amongst the grime
you stand inches from a person
feeling life seep through their pores
but you cannot see their eyes there
and they look not in yours
you go for days and wonder
what if something came to pass
would someone question where I was
or would I disappear too fast
you might talk to strangers on the train
or to people in the park
but you get glances of concern
like what's her problem, what's this lark
so you give up being bothered
and you keep unto yourself
no point in causing unrest
'cause no one cares if you are well
just so long as you keep unto you
and look not upon another
it doesn't matter who you are
we are not one, we are not brothers
but we do all share this city
and we all walk on her paths
and we wander in her gardens
and we fill up all the cracks
and for all that's here within her
all the stories here of old
you have nothing but your name now
and a blanket from the cold
the winds they blow right through you
the rain runs of your cheek
the sun it slides down dreary
no one listens, you don't speak
but the cobbles of the pavement
echo plights gone once before you
there are streets of nameless faces
but a ghost to reassure you
the whispers of their history
comes through to you in waves
and tell you that your struggles
differ not from yesterday's
and for every man that's walked here
and every maiden cried
a part of you goes with them
a bit less lonely now, inside.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

and by then I will know

Whilst sitting and waiting
my hope is abating
and I'm starting to see
that this isn't for me
that all of my schemes
all my plans and my dreams
won't be found on this path
so I turn and head back
to the place where I know
where I come and I go
to mull my life over
to reflect and get closer
and the more that I try
the less I will die
with a burden inside
and with tears left to cry
so I'll keep doing this
and the thing that will stick
won't ever let go
and by then I will know.

Monday, March 12, 2012

i kiss your cheek

Behind stone walls
is where you hid
Expressionless face
A stoic lid
Now I'm not there
You've been outbid
I did love you
And you loved me
We did have that
We do, you see
The one for you
Will end the seek
Remember me
I kiss your cheek
x

un nouveau jour...

Les reves fondu
Les plans changent
Et puis c'est vous
Et maintenant

Sur votre chemin
Avant, avant
Tout ira bien
Et vous etes bon

Demain, demain
Un nouveau jour
Demain, demain
C'est tout alors!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

walking away

I know you are there
I can see you, you know
I know you keep coming
Just to check if I've gone
Well yes I'm still here
And I'm standing alone
But what does it matter
It's over and done
There were secrets
Unhidden
They've changed many things
Or maybe things weren't
Quite what they had seemed
There are so many things
That I'm wanting to say
But what is the point
We ended that day
You were definitely different
I had a gut feeling
Now I'll lay on the floor
And I'll stare at the ceiling
Hollow inside
With my tears slipping out
I have nothing to whisper
And nothing to shout
Another string to my bow
Another line to my song
I'm heartbroken now
But it won't be for long
The memories we share
I can view as I like
You can't take them back
They're locked up inside
But the essence of us
It burst at the seams
Now we're fading away
Like yesterday's dreams
So I know you're still there
I can see you, you see
But it suddenely occurred…
You're not waiting for me
I'm only a fool
And you're one and the same
As you stood there and watched me
Walking away.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

so that you can feel

you need to feel lost
so that you can feel found
you need to feel alone
to know that love is around
you need to feel pain
so that you can feel soothed
you need to feel stressed
to know that you can be moved

you need to feel dark
so that you can feel light
you need to feel defeat
to know you can fight
you need to feel humbled
so that you can feel proud
you need to be silent
to hear your voices scream loud

you need to feel confused
so that you can see clear
you need to feel scared
to know when you're near
you need to feel deep
so that you feel alive
you need to give out
so you light up inside.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

a melting pot of revelry

In salty streams
your tears run down
off cheek, down chin
they reach the ground
You laugh to cry
and smile to frown
you're looking up
from sitting down
Your fears and dreams
burst at the seams
inevitably
you'll soon break free
Have faith in you
and you will see
your life will be
what it will be
A melting pot
of revelry.

Monday, February 20, 2012

a love for all seasons

There are seasons in life
The physical seasons
where nature dies off
replenishes
and then blooms again
And we as humans have
the same
on our own schedule
there are dark phases in life
where joy is lost
and everything is limp
grey, and dead inside
it's cold
it's uncomfortable
damp and unforgiving
you need to take extra care
of yourself
to stay warm
to wrap up tight
against prevailing winds
but in these dark times
we can also be replenished
we can hibernate
retreat
wrap up
and succumb
our skin is protected
we are cocooned
we can embrace the dark
of the night
and feel it's depth
it's solidness
anchoring us to the earth
driving us in
just like the fallen
soggy, and decomposing
leaves of summer...
back to where we came from
giving in
to the pressure and the demands
crumbling...
only to soon be born again.
In the springtime.
New buds will form
there's a freshness in the air
a new colouring
pastels, becoming brighter...
until full bloom
and glory once more.
We need to ride the waves
embrace the change
be part of the cycle
unchallenging.
Accepting.
With a love for all seasons.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

there are days

There are days when I don't get dressed
I splash my face with cold water
and I stay in pink pyjamas
the smell of yesterday's sun lotion on my chest
and my hair is a mess
and I'm in the green t-shirt that I took when I left

I drink hot tea and sit at small makeshift tables
And I stare at my notebook and I pour out words
And I gaze through the window
At the clouds and the birds
At the dust on the cobwebs and the rain falling down
There's nothing to feel and nothing to sound

And the leaves of the trees hang heavy with dew
And they remind me of me
And now I am thinking of you
And I glance in the mirror
And I see a pale face
Shadowed green eyes, I hold their stark gaze

I lean back in my seat
When my tea is lukewarm
I ache for the sun, but I don't mind the storm
And I gaze at the sky thinking why, oh why
If this is it 'til the day that I die
You won't hear me laugh, and you won't see me cry.

the rain

Listen to the rain
Twinkle tinkles falling down
A white noise that soothes you
An ethereal sound

Dance in the rain
Feel the mud under feet
Find the place, the air's pure
The caress of your cheek

Touch the earth in the rain
Pungent fragments, and smells
That fill up your senses
And make you feel well

Monday, February 13, 2012

for all that you know

I don't care if
you're bloody confused
feelings come as they come
and they go when they choose

so suck it right up
and open your eyes
There's a whole world before you
Count the stars in the skies

we won't last forever
nothing ever does
but it will be a memory
this history of us

and who can fault history
or say it's not true
if it happens in thoughts
then what can you do

moments are fleeting
and lifetimes they pass
don't worry for tomorrow
hold today in your grasp

and maybe I'll hurt you
or you will hurt me
but we'll deal with that then
like the tides of the sea

today's almost over
so it's now or it's not
because for all that you know
this day is your lot.

it's me and it's you

Have I mucked it up as I always do?
You know who you are
You know that it's you
Or maybe you don't
And maybe it's me
I'm trapped in my thoughts
Like a nail in a tree
That leaves a deep mark
And sucks out my life
Will you be there to catch me
Will I fall on the knife?
The perpetual cycle
Of the give and the take
You're pulling your hair
You scream FOR GOD'S SAKE
You catch their eye knowing
You smile and it's true
That we've both met our match
It's 'me' and it's 'you'.

just another grain of sand

This great burden of aspiration
Has started to affect my concentration
And all of the things that I want to achieve
Are clouded and blurry and my heart's on my sleeve
Getting dusty and chipped and picking up stains
And my head aches with thoughts and the tears and the strains
That soon it will pass and I will be left in the dust
There'll be no one to hear me and no one to trust
That the best things in life have now passed me by
If I chase my tail for too long do you think I could die?
Might I choke on the words of unwritten dreams
Or lie in the dark and silently scream
Obsessively scribbling down lists "I should do"
Then waste away hours with worry for you
And stress about numbers and negative signs
If I tell myself "no," or it's too high to climb
Then nothing will come and nothing will go
I'll stay on the porch, swaying to swaying fro
Looking out at the world with a wall at my back
Not going forward but not stepping back
Stagnant and stinking in a pit of despair
There are bugs on my feet and dust in my hair
But no one to notice as they all have a life
Invested in triumphs and blinded by strife
And the great irony is that the more that I think
I'm making a difference, but do nothing but blink
It's all here within me and going no where
Because I plan far too much and I worry and care
That if I don't produce something that validates me
I'm just another grain of sand drifting into the sea...?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

it is all within me

I turned a corner today
And I found myself facing the right direction
Towards a place of self-actualisation
And a breeze of feeling that anything is possible

I can do all of the things that I want to do
I can be all of the things that I want to be
My fists clench with excitment when I am thinking of you
And my toes curl with knowing that it is all within me.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

your own slot in time

You know when you're stuck
In a place that feels stale
You're stuck in a rut
You follow your tail

You know there's more out there
To meet and to see
Surges of passion
Plunge into the sea

Unfamiliar waters
Pulling you down, pulling deep
It's dark in the daytime
You're awake when you sleep

Then there are places you've been
Where your heart feels much lighter
The fields are much greener
And the sky is much brighter

All the people you meet
Have no time and no place
They stand in that street
And they look at your face

And some come up to you
To walk on your path
To share this life's moment
Make you smile, make you laugh

They ask where you are going
They ask where you've been
And you tell them your story
And you share all your dreams

They look in your eyes
They might hold your hand
Your heart skips a beat
Writing letters in sand

Then their turn is next
You listen, intent
But the time comes again
Paths reaching their end

You stand there alone
Prickle trickle of tears
Another time passed
More memories, more years

You have no companion
No partner in crime
Just you on your journey
Your own slot in time.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

breathing under a patient sun

Breathing under a patient sun
On the edge of a precipice
A vastness of land opens before you
Waiting for you to jump.

You are drawn into the unknown
But rooted to the earth
Strands of energy clinging to you
Where you stand.

Whispers of promise
pull you from a distance
your fists clench
your heart pounds in your chest.

Each beat
like a distant thunder clap
tells of a storm brewing within
shifting.

The gravel crunches underfoot
jolts behind your kneecaps
the heat from a beast at your back
warm, pungent breath on your neck.

You stand on the edge of the precipice
safer with the devil you know
but wise enough to realise
you need to jump.