Monday, May 8, 2017

Pregnancy and toddlerhood

Pregnancy and toddlerhood.
Today is tough
I feel I'm breaking
For all I give
Still more you're taking
You push me on
And on I go
You're teaching me
There's more to know
And maybe this is how it is
To come undone & be rebuilt
Through all the cracks
More light is spilt
A greater depth
A sudden tilt
And slowly I now start to see
I've more to give
There's more to me...

A rough draft

A rough draft:
I wrote a poem here today
As the ocean lapped the bay
Full of words I couldn't say
And I felt a different way

 The hard, cold stone
 That I sat on in this spot
Didn't unnerve me or defeat me
But it showed me all I've got

 The grass it shook around me
Blowing in the wind
But it's earthen roots below
Allowed the leaves above to sing

The gentle lulling bob
Of boats moored in the bay
 So still, yet spoke of life
In the glow of this new day

My boys they're in the playground
I hear their far off call
I sit alone right now
But I'm not alone at all 

I found myself in Oamaru
A place I'd never been
A place that felt familiar
Showed me things I've always seen.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

a regular stream

We're trapped in a place
Where we don't call the shots
We drift through our days
Before one will kick off
And you'll tell me to come
That you've handled enough
You no longer are strong
I no longer am tough
We are melting together
Filling the void in-between
It runs through the mountains
A regular stream.

to show you

there are things I have to say

but through my words

there must be a better way
to show you how I feel today

who am I?

This question we ask "who am I?"
Is not the right one...

Because the truth of it is
I am so many things
I'm sunlight reflecting
Off butterfly wings
I'm the waves of the ocean
 I'm the shells in the sand
I'm the clouds in the sky
I'm the curve of the land
And I'm the sound that you make
When you first see his face
And the drop in your lungs
When you feel her embrace
I'm the sounds that they play
I'm the painting you see
Standing alone in the halls
Of the Tate gallery
I'm the air that fills up
The vast valley below
And the dust on your shoes
Building up as you go
I'm the sun on your skin
I'm the ice at your cheek
I'm the months of the year
And the days of the week
All these things that you see
All the life that you breathe
I am in every thing.
Everything here is me.

let go and be still

Sometimes does your head spin

Like a mechanical whirring, creating a din

And a dense feeling of falling in

To a pool with a depth that you couldn’t swim

 The outside world is it far far away

Do you feel lost and alone, are you a needle in hay

Like you can’t see the wood, surrounded by trees

Do you wonder what might bring you down to your knees

And for what would you pray at the end of the day

If you believed that would make this dark cloud lift away

For what do you seek and spend time living for

You have material wealth, but what? You want more?

Let me entangle you, love, come, give me an ear

You're wasting the time you have to be here

 Let go of the balloon, let it float to the sky

And remember poor Icarus - that dreamer, he died.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

it begins all again

You can be so happy
that you get all afraid
That what fills you up
could be taken away
So you worry and fret
that this joy that you feel
Is as good as it gets
or it might not be real
And this worry you have
it can make you feel weak
Like dark clouds overhead
you start to feel bleak
You move a lot slower
and your voice now is low
Your view of the world
doesn't have the same glow
This darkness it grips you
and you start to now be
So consumed by its grasp
that you need to break free
It's pulling and tugging
a fight deep within
Then something now breaks
tears roll off your chin
The shadows they lift
the sun's out again
The fear has now gone
this wasn't the end
So you pick yourself up
more love now to send
And then the whole cycle
begins all again.